I’m mad! I’m so mad I just might explode. I’m sick of the media constantly bombarding older women with negative information and negative sentiments about later life motherhood.

They say we’re selfish: selfish for putting career before children, for leaving motherhood until later, because we’ll burden our offspring with caring for ill and ageing parents.

I say most first time older mothers don’t choose to have children later, it just happens that way. We are also far from selfish because every mother knows that motherhood forces you to become self-less as you have to put the needs of your child before those of your own.

They say we suffer overwhelming fertility issues and even say women will be left disappointed and childless if we leave it too long.

I say reduced fertility due to age alone is not as widespread as you think. Research shows that most fertility problems are not the result of female age. Medical conditions, such as the dreaded (and fertility crushing) endometriosis, affects one in ten women and the figures are probably much higher as many cases (mine included) go undiagnosed until trying for a baby. And, almost half of fertility problems can be traced back to the man. Most women I interviewed for my book didn’t use IVF – they got pregnant the old fashioned way – by having regular sex, at the right time of the month.

They say we are ‘high risk’ and that we’ll suffer more complications during pregnancy.

I say that research shows most older mothers have uncomplicated pregnancies and give birth to babies that are perfectly healthy.  There are a whole swag of ‘complications’ that have been said to be caused by age but more recent research is beginning to show that this link is not as strong as first thought. American older mother expert Dr Julia Berryman once said,  “From a pregnancy point of view, a healthy woman of 38 is less at risk of complications than an unhealthy woman of 28.”

They say older mothers are responsible for the growing rate of Caesarean births because birthing a baby when you are older is risky.

I say the increased social acceptance of Caesarean births and the propensity by doctors to steer older women towards this form of birth are more likely to be the reasons. A recent University of Queensland study showed that 47.9% of all births in that State’s private hospitals were by Caesarean. Only one-fifth of those women reported having made an informed decision to have a Caesar. This sentiment is echoed overseas as well, with a 2006 American survey showing that one quarter of the women it surveyed (who’d had a Caesarean) reported pressure from a health professional to make this choice.

They say that the increasing Caesarean rate is linked to an increasing number of older mothers who are ‘too posh to push’.

I say the rate of Caesareans is rising in all groups regardless of age and risk factors and this is a proven fact. The perception (by many mothers and medical professionals) that a Caesarean is a safer birth option is undoubtedly contributing to more Caesarean births – especially amongst older women. It may be more a case of considering the baby ‘too precious to push’ than the mother being ‘too posh’.

So to all those that cite ‘age’ as the biggest blight on all things related to motherhood later in life, and who blame us for a multitude of sins – I say, check your facts then leave your prejudice and presumptions at home.

Serena Kirby is a one mad midlife mother and author of Better Late Than Never Baby – Becoming a Mother Later In Life.

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