Whether it’s bending your body in human origami with a yogi in the park or retreating to a retreat down south – you can be sure a New Age dalliance will cost you money. Helping people navigate the road to spiritual enlightenment is big business and the New Age industry is filled with catchy new versions of age-old themes.

Nowadays there’s something for everyone and New Age alternatives are no longer reserved for combi-driving, sprout-eating hippies. Most people have dabbled or know someone who has. Take me, for example. I’ve experimented with so many products and philosophies that I fear I have become a New Age cliché.

I’ve tried it all. I’ve had my aura read by a woman called Astrid; my palm tickled by a guy called Hans and consulted a pack of picture-cards to make life-changing decisions. I’ve meditated under a full moon until my snoring woke me up, sweated in a sweat lodge until I dehydrated and had a session with a clairvoyant who told me my parents would be surprising me with a visit. (It sure would’ve been a surprise considering they’ve both been dead for years.)

New Ageism also can present challenges for first timers. I remember a girlfriend complaining that shopping for her dream-catcher had been a real nightmare and that her Clear Your Home With Feng Shui book had become lost amongst her lounge room clutter. I too was devastated to find that wind chimes gave me ringing in my ears and aromatherapy gave me hayfever.

But, although I’ve experimented widely in New Age alternatives, I still retain an element of scepticism. And, during times of doubt, I recall what Angela the Angel Healer once told me. She said that, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it,” it’s more a case of “I won’t see it until I believe it”. It’s good advice I suppose but I sometimes fear it leads to seeing things that aren’t really there.

It’s a pity that the road to enlightenment is so poorly lit because the journey is dotted with dead ends and blind bends. There are gurus a-plenty along the way and loads of illusionists proficient at en-lightening your wallet using the art of smoke and mirrors.

After more than a decade of dipping my toes in the New Age waters, I’ve come to realise that I’m better off creating my own philosophy from what I’ve learnt in life. Buddhism operates on the principle that there are Four Truths and I’ve come up with a few of my own. Where there’s a Will there’s a relative, nobody loves you like your dog and the only therapy worth doing is retail.

I also think that the best place you can put your belief is in yourself and – like all good things in life – it’s something you can do for free.

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