Every mother wants the best for their child and to be the best mother they can. I asked Parent Educator, Larissa Jepsen, some important questions about new motherhood. Here is her wise and wonderful advice.

What is your number one piece of advice for first time mums?

If you have a happy baby and a happy mum, then what you are doing is working.  So often as Mums we compare ourselves with others, and assume that if others are doing things differently, then what we are doing must be wrong.  There are many right ways to parent, and if what you’re doing is working for both you and your baby, then stick with it.

What do you think is the most common mistake that new mothers make?

The most common mistake I see is mums ‘should-ing’ all over themselves. Setting these unrealistic expectations on what they “should” be doing.   I ‘should’ have my baby sleeping through the night by now, I ‘should’ have lost the baby weight, I ‘should’ go back to work and financially contribute, I ‘should’ be a stay-at-home Mum and soak up every second of my child’s life.

The only thing you “should” do – is your best.  That is all. And that’s enough.  Accepting this can be challenging, but is key in starting to truly enjoy motherhood.

What have you found is a key concern for first time older mums in your classes?

One big thing I notice often in older mums is that they’ve had a long time to think about what life will be like if and when they finally get their much longed for baby.  Often the reality of motherhood doesn’t match the dream they had in their heads of how it would be.  They can be ashamed or embarrassed to admit (even to themselves) that they are finding it tough, or are hating certain aspects of it.  Motherhood can be contrary – you can love and hate it all at the same time – and admitting and accepting this can relieve a huge burden many mums (older mums in particular) carry.

What is the parenting skill mothers find hardest to learn?

Tuning in to their baby.  We’re living in an age of information overload .  Most Mums have read multiple parenting books, and google becomes their new best friend.  Being informed is fantastic, and I’m a big believer in searching for help when you need it, but I think Mums forget that THEY are the expert when it comes to their child. Every baby comes into the world with their own personality, and it’s a skill to be able to tune into what it is YOUR baby is needing.  This skill is only learnt when you start reading your babies unique cues, and not what google says.  Google doesn’t have children!

What is your favourite mothering/parenting quote?

“Don’t let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid, that you forget you already have one”.  I’m all for ironing out the creases in family life, but I’m equally passionate about smelling the roses and appreciating what you have, right here, right now.

Happy Parenting!

Larissa Jepsen is a mother of three and qualified Parent Educator. She teaches parenting skills and lends a listening ear to new mothers everywhere.  She is the creator of Help A Mum (facebook page), which provides parenting help, tips and support. 

Next week… Part Two of raising an only child as a later life mother. My top tips.

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